Testicle-moanials
🤮💻 He was brown only in summer [not enough Indian with a dot, not a feather], his mouth was way too big [not a good Chinese communist], and he had one too many foreskins [not Jewish enough] to be promoted. His ex-wife, Dr. Abigail Wacher, told us. He never dated our own faggots, so it was hard to spy on him. We usually lay off people at his level. We abandoned his patent with Mikhail Bilenko, US20160012318A1, in 2019 [he quit first time in May 2015 on a yellow postit note in Microsoft Research - building 99 on his door office and succeeded second time with an email addressed to Li Deng and Microsoft HR few weeks later after not bothering coming to work and only telling our HR lady on the phone 'I am not on vacation, I am not sick, but if Microsoft wants to fire me, just go ahead'. We did not allow him to go back to his office to pick up his personal belongings (Bill Gates is a collector), but we allowed him to pick up his phone from the smoking bin trash behind building 99].
— Microsoft Research
🛑📚 UC Berkeley has no records linking Peter Taraba to our campus at any point as a student or a faculty member.
— UC Berkeley
🛠️🏅 We awarded Peter Taraba the Best Paper Award of the International Conference on Machine Learning and Data Analysis 2017, which took place on Clark Kerr Campus, University of California, Berkeley, 2601 Warring Street, Berkeley, CA 94720-2272, USA.
— IAENG
🤌🗽 I did not have sexual relations with that man - Dr. Wrinkle.
— Bill Clinton
🗣👨🏻🏫 I yelled at him because he tried to correct me. He was wrong - obviously. He is always wrong - obviously.
Thomas G. Dietterich, Oregon State University
⛰️💸 We considered giving Peter Taraba less money grabbing macrohard project, and doing something actually useful for humanity, but how can you compete with the mountains or a hot boyfriend in Texas? Obviously, we lost several times. Thanks Obama! If you invite him to your house, he will confirm with yes in Microsoft Outlook, but he will not bother coming. I tried twice. But I stole his European volleyball in Renton, WA to punish him. His team name was 'West Coast Pimps', and their t-shirt said 'Pimpin ain't easy, but that's how we roll'.
— Bill Gates
🚀💸 I never spoke with Dr. Wrinkle on the phone. And Billy G is not my lover and is officially a liar. Dr. Wrinkle played on a volleyball team 'Beach Rats'. Just google it.
— Elon Musk
🪟💸 I took Peter Taraba on a boat ride [after he bailed on Bill Gates' party], pointed out Bill Gates' house and said 'This is Bill's house' to which he replied 'Which Bill?'. When I answered 'Bill Gates', Peter just said 'How could I know, it could be Bill Clinton's house'.
— Steven Sinofsky, past president of the Windows division in Microsoft
🤮💸 Just stare at him [Peter Taraba]. He doesn't like it and will find a route furthest from you to get to his office. My steak at Fogo de Chão Brazilian Steakhouse in Bellevue, WA was great, if you have to know. Two birds with one shot...
— Steve Ballmer
📧 I replied to all his [Peter Taraba] emails which contained a question. Don't blame me & thanks Obama!
— Terry Myerson
🐷 I came to give a talk to Microsoft Research, Building 99, in April 2015. The small fry [Peter Taraba] stayed for the entire one-hour talk of Andy Wilson and took off to his office after only 5 minutes of me talking. Li Deng and Yi-Min Wang refused to tell me what he is up to. My brown spies behind Building 99 only said he is making fun of Christopher Nolan's movies during his smoke breaks. At least he is done with his MIT joke.
— Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft
If you squeeze his leg under the table really tightly, he [Peter Taraba] will stop telling his MIT joke to MIT professors during Nobel Prize Winners talks and finish it with "Oh, you are from MIT, how nice" instead.
— Anonymous Oxford & Technion Female
🤪🗽 What's going on here? But yes, I gave him [Peter Taraba] a permanent resident card and domiciled him with his copyrights. Now shut up and sing.
— George W. Bush
👮♂️🐷 For the avoidance of doubt: 'No money, no BART' is not recognized as a valid legal defense for choosing the highway instead, even if you identify yourself as Dr. Wrinkle. Such conduct may result in citations, arrest, or jail. We recommend public transportation [aka BART-22]. We do not care that highways are built and maintained from Peter Taraba's and other people's taxes.
— San Francisco, CA Police Department
👮♂️🐷 We destroyed Peter Taraba's birth certificate. Yes, we are that amazing.
— Vallejo, CA Police Department
👮♂️🐷 We told Peter Taraba basically to fuck off. We don't give a fuck about him.
— Kirkland & Seattle, WA Police Department
👮♂️🐷 We are the ones who drugged him [Peter Taraba] and held him in jail. California did the dirty work for us so he wouldn't go to Dubai during first Donald Trump season. We can rely on our friends. We sealed the case though. We are not complete cunts.
— Dallas, TX Police Department
👮♂️ What is happening in Washington, Texas and California?!? Jesus Christ. We let him go to Amsterdam during Joe Biden season. We knew he will eventually come back. We are not idiots.
— Fort Lauderdale, FL Police Department
👮♂️🐷 We don't give a fuck about Peter Taraba's bruises on his back. Why would we take pictures of it? It's his problem, not ours. He was asking for it in our humble opinion.
— Amsterdam, Netherlands, EU Police Department
∞🧘🏼 And that's why I divorced him [Peter Taraba]. Let me be. We are divorced. I have no comments. Ask Robert Rivas [71st speaker of the California State Assembly] or Kim Stone [Sacramento] instead. Also, I never met Bill Clinton. He is not my type anyway. His wife is smarter, duh. And 'one more thing' - Peter Taraba is not 'homo sapien', he is 'just homo' [abbreviation from justice]. And for the Christ's sake, I don't care who Elon Musk speaks with on the phone.
— Dr. Wrinkle
👨🏻⚖️💃 Peter Taraba was hit with a baseball bat [Metro's owner's baseball bat] by a customer at Metro by T-Mobile in San Leandro. Contact Name is F. Kossar 2677. Police report / Case No is 26-006153.
— California Attorney General's Office
🍌🤑 Dr. Wrinkle makes fun of me and without me regularly and treats my Berkeley store as a trash bin or a smoking place depending on his mood. His postcards' vocabulary is on full word dictionary spectrum from white to black.
— Tim Cook, CEO of Apple
🔥🤖 I fired him [Peter Taraba] three weeks before he was supposed to get our stocks. My boyfriend Mark Zuckerberg taught me this trick.
— Jason Su, CTO at WhiteRabbit.AI
🐇⚔️ My white rabbit toy is bigger than Peter Taraba's white rabbit toy. My wife would divorce me if I colored my hair pink. My daughter can confirm this. She also enjoyed watching finale of HBO's Game of Thrones.
— Rakesh Mathur, Co-founder and past CEO of WhiteRabbit.AI
💯🐷 He asked me a question, so I yelled at him [Peter Taraba]. "Boz"aj ma v rit.
— Andrew "Boz" Bosworth, CTO of Meta / Facebook
🐷𓃟 Peter Taraba only came once to our company meeting, asked one question, and I never saw him again. His Jewish boss gave him plenty of Jewish options, but he still quit after only six months with Facebook. I only replied to one of his two emails.
— Mark Zuckerberg
🚒🗽 I did not allow Peter Taraba to say Hi to Mexicans through our San Diego U.S. border fence [see through fence]. I sent police on beach scooters and three fire trucks.
— Barack Obama, Just Another White Mama's Harvard boy
†☮︎ Thank God I am dead and don't have to read this. Trump winning second time was more than plenty. I did not say this. Dr. Wrinkle did it for me. I am still dead.
— Jimmy Carter, Peace Nobel Prize Winner
†∞ Oof, I sure hope Isaac Newton was wrong, and I am not coming back in 2060. Phuck this shit.
— Jesus
When you see a pile of shit, you go around it, not directly through it.
— Anonymous Female Psychiatrist in Greater Seattle Area
Oof, I am not good enough to take on University of Washington. You don't stand a chance, but good luck.
— Anonymous Male Lawyer in Greater Seattle Area
That would take at least four years, so be ready if you decide to proceed.
— Anonymous Female Federal Lawyer in Greater Seattle Area
